David A. Fields Consulting Group When you have high hopes for winning a consulting project, and are excited about the engagement, hearing “No thanks” from your prospect can be discouraging, disheartening, and dis-is-a-good-time-for-chocolate-ing.
But should it be?
Let’s say you’re waiting for the green light on the proposal you submitted to Turner Dounalot, CEO of Psychout Productions. Psychout is the leading (only?) provider of virtual mental health services combined with online pranks.
You nurtured the relationship with Turner, diligently walked him and his senior staff through a Context Discussion, and endured a full week of April Fool’s jokes before submitting your proposal.
Your proposed engagement will deliver huge benefits to Turner and Psychout.
Plus, it’s great for you and your consulting firm. You’ll collect much-needed revenue, boost morale with your team, improve your firm’s capabilities, collect another case study, and add to your false-bottomed chest of practical jokes.
You’re eager to hear back from Turner and to dive into the engagement.
Turner finally calls to tell you his decision. “Great news on the project,” he exclaims. He pauses a beat then chortles, “Oops, no. Wrong envelope. We’re not moving forward after all.” After thanking you earnestly (you think) for your time and attention, he’s gone.
Frustrating. Heartbreaking. Raid the chocolate bin, because life is more challenging now for you and your consulting firm than it was yesterday.
Except that’s not true.
Your situation is not more dire. It is, overall, exactly the same, with a spoonful of new learning.
Any project your consulting firm loses is a project you didn’t have before you tried to win it.
Your problems, challenges and needs are wholly unchanged.
There’s little point or benefit to mourning the loss of something you never had.
Plus, there’s tons of upside!
Your encounter with Psychout holds a potential treasure trove of learning for your consulting firm. You may have gathered new insights into:
- What the market wants and doesn’t want,
- What parts of your story resonate or misfire,
- Which prospects to pursue,
- Which aspects of your Business Development process need improvement,
- What objections you should prepare for,
- What new sales collateral to develop,
- What chocolates deliver the fastest endorphin rush.
Potential projects are, by definition, opportunities for your consulting firm. And having opportunities is great.
Some work out, some don’t. All of them create a window for your consulting firm to grow and become more successful.
Best Practices from the Real World of Wins and Losses
Remain equanimous in the face of lost opportunities. When you’re persistently enthusiastic, committed and excited, you’ll win more opportunities than when you’re stressed, frustrated or desperate.
Pursue all good opportunities. It’s generally a mistake to pass on some opportunities while you’re waiting for others to close.
That said, avoid “bad” opportunities. Don’t pursue time-sucking, low-probability, low-learning prospective engagements. After all, it does take time and resources to pursue a project.
If you are going to operate in the world of RFPs, leverage AI to eliminate the vast majority of unproductive time sunk into those black holes of the Business Development universe.
Hope for the win without becoming attached to the outcome.
Shake off a dusting of disappointment like an April snow flurry.
You and I both know that losing an engagement you hoped to (or expected to) close isn’t fun; it doesn’t scream, “You have a successful consulting firm.”
Yet, every successful consulting firm endures losses—sometimes a string of them in a row. And your firm has (or will) endure a string of losses too. It’s part of the game we’re in.
Your reaction and management of each No from a prospective client matters. It determines the potential for your consulting firm to reach greater heights.
How do you manage the inevitable disappointment of losing projects you counted on winning?
Text and images are © 2026 David A. Fields, all rights reserved.
Thank you for sharing this article. I recently experienced the loss of a prospective project that had been in the works for nearly two years. I initially found myself questioning my approach. However, recognizing that both parties share responsibility in such negotiations, I took the opportunity to reflect on the aspects within my control and to learn from them. Before a definitive ‘no’ from the client, I reached out to explore if there was a mutually beneficial path forward. Unfortunately, I have not received a response. I am considering the best approach moving forward—would it be advisable to let go at this point, or should I attempt to follow up?
Ouch, Gaby, you hit a tough one. One important distinction for learning is whether the client decided not to go forward with their project at all or whether they decided to move forward, but not with you/your firm.
Regardless to which side of that distinction you fall on, always seek to preserve the relationship. You can compliment your contact on a decision that must have been difficult, and move forward in the relationship from there. The mutually beneficial path forward is the one in which you continue to support each other and enrich the connection, whether or not there is a paid engagement.
Thank you for sharing your story and asking the thought-provoking question, Gaby.
After 30 plus years of consulting I have validated many times you aren’t going to win them all. Perhaps it’s because we bid on something that we knew was a stretch for us or we find out the decision had already been pretty much made from the start to go with another firm but we were also asked to submit a proposal because their bidding process requires multiple bids or simply to “see who else is out there.” There have also been those occasions where I’m actually relieved we didn’t get selected after going through the bid process and discovering that the prospective client is very disorganized or keeps changing the parameters of the engagement or has very unrealistic expectations regarding the expected outcomes. Still, there is plenty that can be learned from not getting a project including refinements to your bidding process and sometimes feedback from the prospect, if you ask respectfully, as to why they selected someone else. So keep on bidding, learning and refining your expertise and your selling skills and batting average will go up.
Thank you for sharing your perspective based on quite a lot of experience in consulting, Bruce! Ideally, most of the time you’re not “bidding” on projects–particularly not on ones you don’t want to win; however, whether you’re in a competitive situation or not, as you point out it’s always helpful to learn why your prospect made the decision they did.
I’m glad you chimed in on this, Bruce!